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| name : | DanceD |
| subject : | [Illogic]First Trimester |
| home : | http://chriskwon.hihome.com |
<I am sorry...I never shoulda acted all crazy like that ¹Ì¾ÈÇØ... ±×·± ½ÄÀ¸·Î ¹ÌÄ£ ÇൿÀ» ÇÏ´Â°Ô ¾Æ´Ï¾ú¾î and I know...you have never cheated on me ¾Ë¾Æ.. ³Í ³¯ ¼ÓÀÎ ÀûÀÌ ¾ø¾î you're the only one I trust....and now we are gonna have a baby ³ ³Ê¸¸ ¹Ï°í ÀÖ¾î.. ÀÌÁ¦ ¾Æ±â°¡ »ý±â°ÚÁö and we are gonna give him - or her - a real family, that we never had> ÀÌÁ¦ ±×¿¡°Ô - ȤÀº ±×³à¿¡°Ô - ¿ì¸®¿¡°Ô ¾ø¾ú´ø, ÁøÂ¥ °¡Á·À» Áà¾ßÁö the love floods that drips from her eyes as they meet his ±×¿Í ±×³àÀÇ ´«À» ¸¶ÁÖÄ¡¸é¼, ¿©ÀÚÀÇ ´«¿¡¼± »ç¶ûÀÌ Èê·¯ while inside she holds a gift, the virus of new life ¸ö ¼Ó¿¡´Â ÇÏ´ÃÀÇ ¼±¹°, »õ »ý¸íÀÇ ¹ÙÀÌ·¯½º°¡ ÀÖ°í their hearts overflow with oceans of emotions mixed ±×µéÀÇ ½ÉÀåÀº °¨Á¤ÀÌ µÚ¼¯ÀÎ ¹Ù´Ù°¡ ³ÑÃÄÈ帣³× happiness, confusion, love, hate, all simultaneous Çູ, È¥¶õ, »ç¶û, Áõ¿À, ±×·± °ÍµéÀÌ ¸ðµÎ µ¿½Ã¿¡ holding her close as she drenches his chest with rivers of fear °øÆ÷ÀÇ °À¸·Î °¡½¿À» Àû½Ã´Â ±×³à¸¦ ±×´Â ¼¼°Ô ²ø¾î¾È¾Æ a single tear sprints down his cheek, his knees become weak ´«¹° ÇÑÁٱⰡ »´À» Ÿ°í È帣°í, ¹«¸Àº ¾àÇØÁö³× he thinks, "here I sit, a child embracing a child with child that's probably ±×´Â »ý°¢ÇØ "³ ¿©±â ¾É¾Æ¼, ¾Æ¸¶ ³ªº¸´Ù °Ì¸Ô¾úÀ», ¾ÆÀ̸¦ ǰÀº ¾ÆÀ̸¦ more scared of this than I am ²¸¾È°í Àִµ¥ it's too late to question if I'm ready for the responsibility ³»°¡ Ã¥ÀÓÀ» Á®¾ßÇϴ°¡ ÇÏ´Â Áú¹®Àº ³Ê¹« ´Ê¾ú¾î 'cause I knew the consequences of lust, but I took part willingly." ¿å¸ÁÀÇ °á°ú¸¦ ¾Ë°í ÀÖ¾úÀ¸¸é¼, ±×¿¡ µû¶ó ÇൿÇßÀ¸´Ï±î" just then, her left hand graces his face ±×¶§, ±×³àÀÇ ¿Þ¼ÕÀÌ ±×ÀÇ ¾ó±¼À» ¾²´Ùµë¾î the love in her touch encourages tears to race »ç¶ûÀ» ´ãÀº ¼Õ±æÀº ´«¹°À» ´õ Èê·¯³ª°Ô ¸¸µé°í she wipes the rain from his cloudy eyes ±¸¸§³¤ ´«¿¡¼ ³»¸° ºñ¸¦ ±×³à´Â ´Û¾Æ³»³× shaken and scared she takes his hand, smiles, and places it on her belly °Ì¿¡ Áú·Á ¶³¸®´Â ±×ÀÇ ¼ÕÀ» ¹Þ¾ÆÁã°í, ¹Ì¼ÒÁöÀ¸¸é¼, ¹è À§¿¡ ¿Ã·Á³õ¾ÒÁö his hand trembles, heart pounds, mouth returns to smile ¼ÕÀÌ ¶³¸®°í, ½ÉÀåÀÌ ¸¶±¸ ¶Ù°í, ÀÔÀº ¹Ì¼Ò·Î ´äÇÏÁö as inside, she frowns, knowing she can't handle this right now ±×³à´Â ¸¾¼ÓÀ¸·Î Âô±×·Á, Áö±Ý ÀÌ·± ÀÏ ÇØ°áÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖÀ»¸® ¾øÀÝ¾Æ "I'm stuck in this spot between love and my culture "³ ÀÌ °÷¿¡¼ »ç¶û°ú ³» ¹®È »çÀÌ¿¡ ³¢¾î¹ö·È¾î my cousin had a baby out of wedlock and they disowned her ³» »çÃ̵µ »ç»ý¾Æ¸¦ ³´°í´Â °¡Á·µé¿¡°Ô ¹ö¸²¹Þ¾ÒÁö should I risk losing one family to start my own? ³ªµµ °¡Á·À» °¡Áö´Â ´ë°¡·Î Çϳª¸¦ ÀÒ¾î¾ßÇÒ±î? or if I don't have it, will he hate me, and make me stand alone °ÅºÎÇÑ´Ù¸é, ±×°¡ ³¯ ¹Ì¿öÇϰí, Ȧ·Î ³»¹ö·ÁµÑ±î? leaving me to hold this bag of bricks and carry it for a lifetime ÀÌ·± ¹«°Å¿î ÁüÀ» ³»°Ô Æò»ýµ¿¾È Áöµµ·Ï ³»¹ö·ÁµÎ°í while he can relieve the pain by just going home and writing a rhyme? È¥ÀÚ Áý¿¡ °¡ ·¦°¡»ç¸¦ ¾²¸é¼ °íÅëÀ» Ç®±î?" at that point he pulls her close, whispers "I love you" to her lobes ±×¶§ ±×´Â ±×³à¸¦ ´õ ²À ²¸¾È°í "»ç¶ûÇØ"¶ó°í ¿Ê±ê¿¡ ¼Ó»è¿© unbeknownst to the dichotomy in the beauty that he beholds ±×°¡ ¹Ù¶óº¸´Â ¾Æ¸§´Ù¿î ÀÌÀÇ À̺йý¿¡ ¹«½ÃµÈ ä <I love you...and now, we are gonna have a baby> <»ç¶ûÇØ... ÀÌÁ¦, ¿ì¸° ¾Æ±â¸¦ °¡Áú°Å¾ß> I love her now, and even after death she's my breath ³ ±×³à¸¦ »ç¶ûÇØ, Á״´ÙÇØµµ, ±×³à´Â ³ªÀÇ ¼û°á the only other close to my heart? my mother ÀÌ·¸°Ô °¡±î¿î »ç¶÷Àº ´Ü ÇÑ »ç¶÷, ³» ¾î¸Ó´Ï I'm scared, but prepared to give my child what I was never given, a life ¹«¼¿ö, ÇÏÁö¸¸ ¾ÆÀÌ¿¡°Ô ³»°¡ °¡ÁöÁö ¸øÇß´ø »îÀ» ÁÙ Áغñ´Â µÆ¾î with its father and its mother, its wife ¾Æ¹öÁö¿Í ¾î¸Ó´Ï, ¾Æ³» °°Àº °Íµé I know realize my eyes see the horizon ÁöÆò¼±À» º¸Àδٴ °É ±ú´Þ¾Æ I'm no longer looking for a kaleidoscope to climb in ¿äÁö°æ µûÀ§¸¦ ¹Ù¶óº¸°í ±× ¾ÈÀ¸·Î ¶Ù¾îµå´Â°Ô ¾Æ³Ä accepting my scenery, my fate parallel to grace ÀÌ ±¤°æÀ» ¹Þ¾ÆµéÀÌ´Ï, ³» ¿î¸íÀº ÀºÃѹ޾Ҵٴ »ý°¢ÀÌ µéÁö I know I'm in love every time my eyes touch her face ³» ´«±æÀÌ ±×³àÀÇ ¾ó±¼¿¡ ´êÀ»¶§¸¶´Ù »ç¶û¿¡ ºüÁö³× - I love him, but I'm not ready to spring a life into this world ³ ±×¸¦ »ç¶ûÇØ, ÇÏÁö¸¸ ¾ÆÁ÷ »õ·Î¿î »ý¸íÀ» ³ºÀ» Áغñ´Â µÇÁö ¾Ê¾Ò¾î I'm only 17, myself still a little girl ¾ÆÁ÷ 17»ì ¹Û¿¡ ¾ÈµÈ ¾î¸° ¼Ò³àÀε¥ I need my family too much to lose them for him °¡Á·ÀÌ ÇÊ¿äÇØ, ³» ³²ÀÚ ¶§¹®¿¡ Àұ⿣ ³Ê¹« Ä¿´Ù¶õ Á¸Àç but I need him by my side also, I'll have his baby someday Ç㳪 ±×µµ ¿ª½Ã ÇÊ¿äÇØ, ¾ðÁ¨°¡´Â ¾Æ±â¸¦ ³ºÀ»Å״ϱî he's the only one I see in my future, but now's not the time ³» ¹Ì·¡¿¡´Â ±× ¹Û¿¡ º¸ÀÌÁö ¾Ê³×, ÇÏÁö¸¸ Áö±ÝÀº ¶§°¡ ¾Æ³Ä we still have things to experience and live out our lives ÇÏÁö¸¸ ¿ì¸° °æÇèÇÒ °ÍÀÌ ¸¹ÀÌ ³²¾ÒÀÝ¾Æ I can't do it, I've decided. I'm only two months now ÇÒ ¼ö ¾ø¾î, ¼±ÅÃÇß¾î. ¾ÆÁ÷ 2°³¿ù ¹Û¿¡ ¾ÈµÇ¾ú´Â°É but how can I tell the love of my life that I've murdered his child? ÇÏÁö¸¸ ³» ¾ÆÀ̸¦ ³»°¡ Á׿´´Ù´Â °É »ç¶ûÇÏ´Â »ç¶÷¿¡°Ô ¾î¶»°Ô ¸»ÇÏÁö? - alone she sits, with oceans of regret soaking optics ±×³à´Â Ȧ·Î ¾É¾Æ, ´«¿¡ ÈÄȸÀÇ ´ë¾çÀ» ä¿ì°í heart ripped to shreds with visions of a dead sea Á×Àº ¹Ù´ÙÀÇ ¸ð½À°ú ÇÔ²² ½ÉÀåÀº °¥°¥ÀÌ Âõ±â°í no words can emerge from voice box to explain ¸ñ¿¡¼± ¼³¸íÀ» À§ÇÑ ´Ü¾î´Â ¾î¶² °Íµµ ¿Ã¶ó¿ÀÁö ¾Ê¾Æ the understood hate that seemed to fuel his pain ÀÌÇØÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¹Ì¿òÀº °íÅëÀ» ´õÇϰí his vital organ pounds till his chest starts to vibrate °¡½¿ÀÌ ¶³¸®¸é¼ ½ÉÀåÀº ´õ °ÇÏ°Ô °íµ¿ÃÄ emotions unusual trapped in delusional mind state ¾îÁö·¯¿î ¸¶À½ ¼Ó¿¡ º¸ÅëÀº º¸Áö ¸øÇÏ´ø °¨Á¤ÀÌ °¤ÇôÀÖ³× he knows not what to feel, or what to say ¹¹¶ó°í »ý°¢ÇÒÁö, ¸»ÇÒÁö ¸ð¸£°Ú¾î how to react to the fact of, should he leave or should he stay? ÀÌ »ç½Ç¿¡ ¾î¶»°Ô ¹ÝÀÀÇØ¾ßÇÒ±î, ¶°³¯±î ¾Æ´Ô ³²À»±î? a cloud of sorrow hovers above the two broken spirits without a clue ½½ÇÄÀÇ ±¸¸§Àº °¥±æÀ» ÀÒÀº µÎ ¾²·¯Áø ¿µÈ¥ À§¸¦ ¸Éµ¹°í gloom so thick that love can't shine through µÎ²²¸¦ ´õÇØ, »ç¶ûÀÇ ºûµµ ¶ÕÁö ¸øÇÏÁö he's thinkin, "here I stand, face to face with my angel ±×´Â »ý°¢ÇØ, "³ ¿©±â¿¡ ¼¼, ¿ì¸® ¾ÆÀÌÀÇ Çǰ¡ as the blood of our child soaks her hands ¼Õ¿¡ ¹¯Àº õ»çÀÇ ¾ó±¼À» ¹Ù¶óº¸°í ÀÖ¾î the hate I hold is a product of the love she evokes ´À²¸Áö´Â Áõ¿À´Â ±×³à°¡ ¸¸µé¾î³½ »ç¶ûÀÇ »ê¹° so in an obscure way, I understand" Á¤È®È÷´Â ¸ô¶óµµ, ÀÌÇØÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖÀ»°Å °°¾Æ" with arms outstretched, she lies his head upon her chest ÆÈÀ» ³Ð°Ô ÆîÄ¡°í, ±×³à´Â ±×ÀÇ ¸Ó¸®¸¦ °¡½¿¿¡ ´¯Çô and she cries and continues to apologize ¿ï¸é¼ ²÷ÀÓ¾øÀÌ »ç°ú¸¦ ÇÏÁö "you know that I love you (I love you) "»ç¶ûÇÑ´Ù´Â °Å ¾ËÀÝ¾Æ (¾ËÀݾÆ) and you won't be to blame if after this action, you never utter my name ³Ê¸¸ °¡¸¸È÷ ÀÖÀ¸¸é ´©±¸µµ ³Ê¸¦ Å¿ÇÏÁö ¾ÊÀ»°Å¾ß but I need time to mature before I give birth ÇÏÁö¸¸ ¾Æ±â¸¦ ³´±â Àü¿¡ ¼º¼÷ÇÒ ½Ã°£ÀÌ ÇÊ¿äÇØ we need time to explore and find what we're worth ¿ì¸° ¼¼»óÀ» ¸ðÇèÇÏ¸é¼ ¿ì¸®ÀÇ °¡Ä¡¸¦ ¾Ë¾Æ¾ßÇØ one day I'll have your seed ¾ðÁ¨°£ ³ªµµ ¾ÆÀ̸¦ ³º°ÚÁö even if the sun rays burn out and the starlight bleeds" ÇÞºûÀÌ ºÒÀ» ºÙÀÌ°í º°ºûÀÌ ÇǸ¦ È기´ÙÇØµµ" their eyes meet, and lips touch ´«ÀÌ ¸¶ÁÖÄ¡°í, ÀÔ¼úÀÌ ´ê°í I love yous are exchanged »ç¶ûÇÑ´Ù´Â ¸»ÀÌ ¿À°í °¡³× and eyes lock till tear ducts flood with rivers of pain ´«¹°»ù¿¡¼ °íÅëÀÇ °ÀÌ Èê·¯³»¸± ¶§±îÁö ´«Àº °¨ÀºÃ¤ love won't let them leave, there was a hold on his heart »ç¶ûÀº ±×µéÀ» Çì¾îÁöÁö ¸øÇÏ°Ô Çß¾î, ±×ÀÇ ¸¶À½À» ¸ØÃß¾úÁö as much as my death hurt, it couldn't tear them apart ³» Á×À½ÀÌ ¾Æ¹«¸® ¾ÆÆÄµµ, ±×µéÀº °¥¶óÁú ¼ö ¾ø¾î so now I rest on clouds with other aborted missions ³ª´Â Áö±Ý ´Ù¸¥ ³«Å´çÇÑ ¾ÆÀ̵é°ú ±¸¸§ À§¿¡¼ ½¬°í ÀÖ¾î I forgive you and understand the purpose of your decision ´ç½ÅÀ» ¿ë¼ÇØ, ´ç½ÅÀÇ ¼±ÅÃÀÇ ¸ñÇ¥µéµµ I hope this story of my life hits the depth of many souls ³» »îÀ» ±×¸° À̾߱Ⱑ ¸¹Àº ¿µÈ¥¿¡°Ô ´Ù°¡¼±æ and when you want to tell me you love me, you don't have to ¸¸¾à »ç¶ûÇÑ´Ù°í ¸»ÇÏ°í ½Í´õ¶óµµ, ²À ±×·² ÇÊ¿ä´Â ¾ø¾î cause I know ¹ú½á ´Ù ¾Æ´Ï±î <I'm sorry, I should've never acted all crazy like that, I love you> <¹Ì¾ÈÇØ, ±×·± ¹ÌÄ£ Çൿ ÇÏ´Â°Ô ¾Æ´Ï¾ú¾î, »ç¶ûÇØ> |
| DanceD | Àо¸é ¾Æ½Ã°ÚÁö¸¸ Á¸´ë·Î ÇØ¼®ÇÏ´Â°Ô ³ª¾ÒÀ»Áöµµ ¸ð¸£´Â °¡»çÀÔ´Ï´Ù ÇÏÁö¸¸ ÆíÀÇ»ó...(À̶ó±âº¸´Ü óÀ½¿¡ ¸ð¸£°í ¹Ý¸»·Î ½ÃÀÛÇØ¼--) |
01/16 22:54 | x |
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